Better To Have Loved
by Knappster
Summary: Staubrey. Major character death.


**A/N: Apparently I keep writing the same topic and it's always the same so here's something different.**

* * *

Stacie heard a knock on the door and frowned. She walked down the hall to open the door, yelling even before she got to it. "Bree, did you forget your key?"

 _The door opened and they followed the real estate agent into the house. There was a staircase in front of them and a hallway next to it, they walked down to their left and entered a large space. "This is the living room, and…" She led them through an arch. "over here is the dining room and the kitchen, I'll give you some time to look around here before we go upstairs."_

 _Aubrey stepped in front of the double doors that led to the back yard. Stacie wrapped her arms around her from behind and rested her chin on her shoulder. "This place is huge, do you think we can afford it?"_

" _I hope so, it's amazing." Stacie hummed behind her. "You're not having second thoughts, are you?"_

 _Stacie squeezed her and pecked her cheek. "Of course not. It's just a lot of money, babe."_

 _Aubrey nodded. "We can make it work." She leaned on Stacie and ran her fingers over Stacie's forearms. "It's just that, as soon as we walked into this place, I could really see us here. Lying on the couch or in the kitchen, out in the yard."_

 _Stacie smiled. "I can see that too." She nuzzled Aubrey's cheek. "I can also see a swing set back there. And there's enough room for quidditch."_

 _Aubrey scoffed. "Our kids are not playing quidditch, it's not a real thing."_

" _It is!" Stacie moved her hands to Aubrey's side and started tickling her, making the blonde bend over laughing._

" _Stacie, stop!" After a moment of squirming, Aubrey managed to get away and turned around with a big smile on her face. She cupped Stacie's cheeks. "So we're doing this?"_

 _Stacie nodded and Aubrey kissed her briefly. "Come on, let's go see the rest of our house."_

"Miss Conrad?" The cop on the other side of the door looked at her solemnly. Stacie nodded slowly. "You're listed as Aubrey Posen's emergency contact."

"What happened? Is she okay?" Stacie felt stupid immediately, cops don't show up at your door if everything's okay.

"There was an accident, she's in the hospital. I'm here to drive you there."

"Do you know anything else? What happened to her?" Stacie was starting to hyperventilate and leaned on the door.

The police officer shook his head sadly. "I'm sorry, ma'am, I don't have any more information."

 _Stacie stood behind Aubrey and left a trail of kisses down her exposed neck. Aubrey chuckled and tried to put her earring on despite the distraction. She locked eyes with Stacie in the mirror in front of them and quirked an eyebrow. "Are you ready? We're gonna be late."_

" _Do we have to go? I have like twenty better ideas of what we could do with our evening." She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively and Aubrey turned around, slapping her arm._

" _Well I have to go, it's my boss' birthday party, but you don't have to." She wrapped her arms over Stacie's shoulder, the brunettes arms automatically moving around her middle._

 _Stacie pouted. "I don't want to stay if you're not staying."_

" _It's settled then, we're going." Aubrey said with a triumphant smile that fell when Stacie didn't smile back. "Hey, what is it? You really don't have to go with me if you don't want to."_

 _Stacie shook her head. "I want to, I'm just…" Stacie took a deep breath and exhaled loudly looking up at the ceiling. "I'm nervous?"_

 _Aubrey looked at her confused. "You don't usually get nervous about meeting people."_

" _I know! I don't like it." She hid her face on Aubrey's neck. "It's just that I know how much you love this new job and I want your coworkers to like me."_

 _Aubrey chuckled and Stacie pulled back to look at her, frowning. "What?"_

" _They're gonna love you, baby, don't 're the likable one in this relationship."_

 _Stacie's frown deepened and she shook Aubrey lightly. "You're likable."_

" _You're biased." Aubrey kissed her._

" _Well, I love you."_

" _Well, it's a good thing you're marrying me then." Aubrey smiled and kissed her again. She took a step back and slapped her butt lightly. "Finish getting ready, we leave in five."_

Stacie rushed to the nurse's station in front of the ER doors. "I'm looking for Aubrey Posen, they told me they brought her in not so long ago. I don't know anything else."

The nurse looked up at her. "Are you a relative?"

Stacie nodded. "I'm her wife."

The nurse nodded and turned to her computer. "She was in a car accident, they took her up to surgery. I'll make sure the doctor knows you're out here and they'll come get you when they know anything."

"Thank you." Stacie nodded, the tears she had managed to control in the police car were now falling silently down her cheeks. "Do you know how bad it is?"

The nurse shook her head sadly. "I'm sorry, the doctors will tell you more when she's out of surgery." Stacie nodded and started to turn away but a hand on hers stopped her. "Is there anyone you'd like us to call so they can wait with you?"

"Thanks, I'm good."

" _Stacie, Beca and Chloe are gonna be here any second. What are you doing?"_

 _Stacie swallowed and looked up from her spot on the couch making her best innocent face. "I was putting out the snacks like you told me."_

 _Aubrey smirked and walked towards her. "Yeah? I don't remember telling you to eat the snacks before our guests arrived."_

 _Stacie looked nervously at the plate trying to see if Aubrey would notice something was missing. "Eat? I wasn't eating."_

 _Aubrey straddled Stacie and rubbed their noses together. "You weren't?" Stacie shook her head and Aubrey kissed her, pushing her back on the couch. She pulled back laughing and stood up from Stacie's lap. "You taste like cheese, babe."_

" _Hey, that wasn't fair!" Stacie crossed her arms. "And I only had one!"_

 _The doorbell rang and Stacie got up to open the door. Chloe hugged her immediately and she nodded hello to Beca behind her. As soon as Chloe let go of her she looked around. "Where is he?"_

" _He's probably with Aubrey, he follows her around everywhere."_

 _Aubrey walked into the living room carrying a plate. "Hey guys."_

 _A puppy yapped at her feet. Chloe ran to the puppy and kneeled down in front of it. "There he is!" The puppy was temporarily distracted by the redhead and moved over to investigate her. "He's so cute!" Chloe rubbed his head. "You're so cute, aren't you? Yes, you are."_

 _Beca chuckled and sat on the couch next to her girlfriend. The dog apparently decided he liked this new human and stayed with Chloe even when Aubrey walked around the couch to stand next to Stacie. She wrapped her arms around her and looked at Chloe cooing at the puppy. "I really hope she's not like this with our kids."_

" _Are you kidding? She's going to be worse." Stacie squeezed her to her side and Aubrey kissed her temple._

" _Maybe we should wait until she has hers so she's too busy to be so smothering with ours."_

 _Stacie nudged Beca. "Hear that, Becs? Better hurry up."_

"Stacie!" Chloe launched herself at the brunette. "How is she?"

Stacie held on to Chloe tightly and choked out a sob. "I don't know, she's still in surgery."

Chloe sat on the chair next to her and rubbed her back. Beca walked in a few minutes later and crouched down in front of Stacie, taking her hands. "Nothing yet?" Stacie shook her head. "Do you need anything?"

"If we're still here in the morning, can you go feed Newton and take him to daycare?"

"You take your dog to-" Chloe glared at her. "Yeah, sure, Stace. I'll take Newton to daycare."

"Thanks, Becs." Stacie squeezed Beca's hands and leaned her head on Chloe's shoulder.

 _Aubrey leaned her head on Stacie's shoulder, her hand tracing patterns over her chest as they swayed to the music. "This is the best anniversary ever."_

 _Stacie chuckled. "You say that every year."_

 _Aubrey straightened up and looked at Stacie "It's true!"_

 _Stacie kissed her. "I'm glad you liked it, Mrs. Conrad."_

 _Aubrey smiled. "I like the sound of that."_

 _Stacie pushed her back until she hit the couch and lowered her slowly and laying down on top of her. "Yeah, that's too bad because I think I really like Mrs. Posen." Aubrey pulled her down for a kiss. "Maybe we could go with Conrad-Posen."_

 _Aubrey smirked. "Posen-Conrad"_

 _Stacie kissed down her neck. "But, Bree, alphabetical order makes way more sense."_

 _Aubrey laughed at Stacie's whiny tone. "I guess you're right."_

 _Stacie gasped and pushed up on her hands to look at her. "Did you just say I'm right?"_

 _Aubrey rolled her eyes goodnaturedly. "Don't get used to it."_

 _Stacie smirked as she hovered over Aubrey. Her expression softened and the intensity in her eyes took Aubrey's breath away. She lowered herself until she was close to Aubrey again. "I love you."_

 _Aubrey ran her fingers down her neck. "I love you too."_

"Mrs. Conrad?" Stacie straightened up. Her neck was stiff from being in a hospital chair all night. She nudged Chloe who was sleeping on her lap, Beca had left a while earlier to get her some clothes to change into and take care of Newton.

Stacie stood up and walked to the doctor. He was still wearing his surgical cap and had a mask hanging from his neck. Chloe stood next to her squeezing her hand.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Conrad. Your wife's injuries were too extensive, she had a ruptured spleen and there was too much blood. We did our best but we couldn't save her."

Stacie felt like she was under water. Everything sounded muffled and she couldn't breathe. She felt Chloe taking her back to the waiting room. She was saying something but she couldn't focus on the words. She couldn't focus on anything, her mind just kept repeating that Aubrey was dead, that she would never see her smile again, she would never kiss her or touch her.

She dealt with the hospital paperwork in autopilot. Beca filled out most of the forms and Chloe never left her side. They drove her back home, stopping to pick up Newton on the way. The usually playful dog must have sense something was wrong and just put his head on Stacie's lap. It was the first thing Stacie actually noticed since she talked to the doctor and she scratched the dog's head.

She walked into the house and walked up the stairs to their bedroom, her bedroom now, and dropped down onto her bed. She could hear Chloe and Beca downstairs. She hugged Aubrey's pillow and cried, her chest heaving loudly with every breath she took. She didn't know how long she stayed like that but after a while, exhaustion caught up to her and she drifted off, her arms still wrapped tightly around Aubrey's pillow and hoping that when she opened her eyes Aubrey would be there instead.


End file.
